Sunday, January 17, 2016
Long answer: The Rainbow Bagel at The Bagel Store was sticky to the touch (not sure why), overpriced, entirely too pastry-like, and somehow lacking in flavor. The funfetti cream cheese was a great draw and I would actually have this again on a plain bagel. But only like once every 5 years.
Longer answer: OMG I'm blogging again! Anyway - so many people decided that these Rainbow Bagels were the new thing. Like the saving grace of Brooklyn, the holy grail even. But are they? ARE THEY?
I had been dying to head over to this place. I figured I could just hop on the bus and shoot over to Greenpoint or Williamsburg or whatever neighborhood in (not so) newly populated North Brooklyn this place was in...grab one, have my mind blown and take a super cute picture of it to make everyone's mouth water and think I was SO COOL and IN THE KNOW! Alas.
When I arrived at the Bagel Store, I couldn't help but notice it was a hole in the wall. "But it's always the hole in the wall places that have the delicious foods!", they said. "It's totally worth taking the G train!", they said. I digress.
There were 4 or 5 really excited, really loud young girls in the store, standing in the way, confusing me on where the heck the line started. I saw the "Rainbow" bagels (this is in quotes because today they were only green and yellow) chilling in a display box and was already unimpressed. You see, Native New Yorkers (and NNYs skip this part because you already know this) who like bagels can look at a bagel and be able to tell if it's both doughy, chewy, and naturally crispy enough for them to purchase. We also do this with Pizza slices btw. These bagels were, something other than.
I decided to go for it. But then I remembered that I needed to pick a cream cheese. The kid at the store sullenly suggested I go for the Funfetti Cream Cheese. Because that's totally a normal thing. And he eats it by the spoonful.
His accent led me to believe that he might be from here, so I said, "ok but like, would a New York person who likes bagels eat this...funfetti cream cheese? Because if I'm being honest, this sounds insane." He brought me over some to taste, on a knife (!?!) and I was sold. The cream cheese was cheesy and only slightly sweet despite its name and appearance.
Finally I asked for the bagel to be toasted. "Oh the toaster don't work."
::cue brain explosion::
I thought about a lot of things in this moment. Where was I? What kind of place is this with a broken toaster? Why am I here? Then I was angry, why do I ever listen to other people? What am I doing in Williamsburg? And finally, when all hope was lost he interjected with "But they just came out of the oven so...it's like..."
Which brings me to the end of my tale folks. I ended up paying at least like 6+ dollars for this creation that was somewhere between a food you would find on Care Bears and/or Fraggle Rock and you know - that's usually a compliment in my world but not today.
I do not suggest for adults. I probably won't go back. But if I were a kid, I would BEG my mom to buy me a zillion of these.
at 9:36:00 PM